Have you ever RUINED YOUR OWN 3 YEAR'S OF LIFE?

 Have you ever ruined your own life? no? But I, somehow, I did! I ruined MY 3 WHOLE YEARS!

Going back to the days when first wave of COVID hit the whole world, everyone was shaken up..but what were the children with a childish mindset were doing?...yeah you guessed it right, being happy by the thought of not going to school and not giving those exams which resulted in having punishments from their parents(...or may be a good beating).

i remember i was preparing for class 9th's final exams as a sincere student who used to wake up early...and not used to go to bed until the target of the day was completed..yes several times i went to bed at 2 am! THAT WAS THE REAL ME ! 

About the time ,when the lockdown was announced we were already done with our final exams..our results also came through class whatsapp group.Being a topper student,instead of  getting a punishment i got to eat my favourite food made specially by my father....(his best way to show love is through food,thats just how most of the indian dads are<3)...anyways, soon class 10th started,ofcourse through ZOOM Meetings.

Those ZOOM Meetings came along with unlimited WIFI, i bet you guessed what happend to my concentration which used to be one of the best among my classmates (PS:i'm not bragging).

Well,Since I didn't have a laptop back then I mainly used my mother's phone JUST TO STUDY(pun intended..lol). Honestly speaking having just a phone until Feb,2021 saved my class 10th grades.Although still i was too much indulge in watching youtube (i did my best and my mom never got to know what i used to do instead of studying in phone)..and due to this my grades actually dropped so much in 1st Pre Board ,then i came to my senses, well only for 2 months : )

Although Covid was still there but we had all 3 of our pre boards offline..and,by the time results came in , we had already started classes of Grade 11th ,everyone was studying the subjects,stream of their choices, i took PCB with English,Hindi and Fine Arts , yup, a science student here who lost to her own consciousness! Anyways,I have a way of getting offtrack so easily! So,Yes, I was saying the results of class 10th were out..And guess what? I scored 96%...And I was on cloud nine. My whole family celebrated as you now how big of a deal Board Exams are!

Afterthis, My Academic life started going downhill. I was too much confident that i could score above 95% even if start studying one day before the exam. A part of me knew that I was being stupid..but you know sometimes people tend to dig their own grave and that's exactly what i did..i poured my heart not into studying but into K-Dramas,C -Dramas, youtube videos. 

You must be curious to know that i knew i was being stupid then why the heck i didn't stop?Let me tell you..despite of being a bad student in class 11th and not having any knowledge about 11th class's syllabus...I was every teacher's favourite, every teacher favoured me..never asked any questions to me in online classes thinking i would already know the answer. Well that obviously was not the case. My class teacher even made me the class reperesentative ! THIS IS HOW MY CONFIDENCE CHANGED INTO OVER CONFIDENCE....as if this was not enough to boost my ego i scored 82% in grade 11th..and YES by studying JUST BEFORE A WEEK BEFORE EXAMS!!

Every senior told me that 11th's grade don't matter..so i was not heartbroken that there was a significant drop in my percentage..even my parents didn't bother to know 11th's grade . Now the main focus of every student including me ofcourse should have been class 12th Boards..but, again a girl with a brain full of over confidence and ego would never care about giving the sufficient amout of preparation required for it and to add the cherry on top , that girl was also "PREPARING" for NEET 2023. 

i remember counting total number of chapters in NEET syllabus ,98, there are 98 chapters in total. So, Would a normal person think that 98 days are enough for preparing for NEET? No!Right?? But then again! YES I was this stupid! but class 12th was running in full offline mode so ofcourse i couldn't slack off on my school homework..i didn't study i just did the bare minimum so that no one would know that i was slacking off, but then exams came, not the final one but a mid term, i scored really bad and ofcourse my teachers were shocked , in order to save my face i told them i couldn't focus during the exam. But my chemistry teacher was just so awesome she knew i lied she told me indirectly to come to my senses before its too late..but i couldn't care less..remember i told you how sometimes people dig their own grave?yeah that was it...then in again in monthly exam that were only held for Board exam aspirants, i failed in Organic chemistry. My chemistry teacher was kind enough to take me in in extra classes and taught me from the scratch..and just because of those classes i was atleast able to score 68% in chemistry board..otherwise, i know i would still be in class 12th. Yes ,thats how bad my academic performance was in my last year of high school. Despite of that i managed to be Ganga House Captain which was also one of my childhood dream "to be in a student council as a captain,no more..no less"..due to that i have a face which i can still show to my schoolmates! otherwise i would have been done for good!

And about NEET...not to tell you guys coz its too obvious i couldn't get a govt. medical seat.

It's Sep,2023 , i finally came to my senses i took a drop for NEET. I realised how i let the real myself go and became someone completely different..many people had hope in me some of them still do ,some of them still believe in me, I'll make them proud. You see i learned that opportunity,good moments don't come to you, you just have to grasp the moment and make it useful for youself . And COVID would have not been such a crisis only if I had myself in control...It could have been a Golden Opportunity. 

But then what good it does to reminisce or regret the old times..whats gone is already gone..damage"s already done..all I can do is fix it now.

if you have read my self crisis journey and still reading it upto this far you must have learnt something from my blog..Take only good thooughts from this and make a life of your dreams.Don't be foolish like me.DON'T LET THE REAL YOURSELF GO! YOLO! 

Wish You All the Best!

Thanks for reading:)